


Meet Barry

by strawhat4life



Category: Good Omens, Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Barry the moose, CHRISTMAS CHAOS, Christmas, M/M, Not Beta Read, Vengeful Crowley, holiday fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-27
Updated: 2019-12-27
Packaged: 2021-02-24 15:27:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21980182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/strawhat4life/pseuds/strawhat4life
Summary: Aziraphale gets a new holiday decoration for the shop, some local jerks mess with the wrong shop in front of the wrong demon. (Christmas fic! well kind of? christmas themes i should say as well as slight horror themes?)
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 38





	Meet Barry

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so this is for my friend Cindy! the inspiration came from this tumblr post https://i-care-bout-things-too.tumblr.com/post/189890656048/i-support-moose-on-the-loose Merry christmas Cindy! you to Barry!

Barry the moose had become a staple in the holiday season at AZ Fell & Co. he had started as a tacky decoration that Aziraphale had found and fell in love with that obviously Crowley had to give him a hard time about.

But Aziraphale thought he was cute so at first he had taken refuge by the front of the door where there was a sign made up that read   
**_“Barry the Moose wishes you a Merry Christmas and a Happy Holiday!”_**

How the horrible thing came to be named “Barry” Crowley would never understand but what Aziraphale didn’t understand was that while he thought it was cute, many people found it quite scary. The moose was a tall doll that came to about the knee of an average sized person with a black and red plaid santa hat on top of his head with antlers poking out made of felt and the rest of him was made of this tacky rough fabric that Crowley wasn’t entirely sure what it was but the dolls eyes were these horrid wooly balls that pointed in either direction that gave it a lifeless and rather frightening quality, it’s little santa shirt didn’t help either. At first no one seemed to pay it much mind but after a few days Crowley began to hear whispers about the doll, it first started with a group of horrible teenage boys that entered the shop once in a while and Crowley happened to know that they liked to leave the books in poor shape just to drive his angel crazy, usually they were smarter than to come in when the Bentley was parked out front (Crowley may have had some choice words with them once or twice that might have shaken them pretty badly but obviously not enough to stop coming back.) but it appeared this was a special day.

“OH my god, what _is_ that?”

Crowley’s ears happened to perk up from where he was sitting on the sofa at the disgusted tone of one of the teenage boys and he lowered the newspaper a bit to get a glimpse of them, eyebrow raising into his hair line as he saw the three boys snickering and pointing at the moose

“That’s got to be the ugliest thing I’ve ever seen in my entire life.” The same boy said, Crowley happened to know him as a troublemaker named none other than _Chad_ (Honestly why would you name your child that? That’s like asking them to become a steroid induced football star that knocks up a cheerleader) Crowley was happy that his angel was in the back because he knew Aziraphale would have been so disappointed to hear someone say that and to hear how these boys laughed and mocked the little moose and even though Crowley did it as well, he was the _only_ one who was allowed to mock Barry and the thought of someone insulting his angels cute decorations made the demons blood positively _boil._

As we all know, people named chad, well more like people like this chad, tend to not be to bright. Their muscles get so big and their status tend to get so high that it makes other things go smaller and lower IQ is only one example of such things and the other things tend to be overly compensated with a cocky attitude which now brought us to Crowley watching as Chad took the moose and rearranged his flexible arms to be grabbing what would have been an intimate area on the moose doll should he have anything there as his friend snapped a picture and that was only one of the derogatory poses that the children put the doll in until Crowley had enough observing and put his paper down and slinked over to where the boys were

“Haven’t you boys heard of looking and not touching?” Crowley asked the boys jolted not realizing he was there until he hissed in their ears and Crowley rather enjoyed the three shades paler they went at the sight of him.

“Sorry Mr. Crowley, we didn’t-“  
“Yess you did.” Crowley corrected him and before he could do much else Chad and his friends went around him and moved to hide among the stacks in the shop as Crowley glared after them he over heard Chad say to his friends

“I don’t know what he expected, I mean that thing looks like it’s practically _possessed_.”

Now there are only a few moments in Crowley’s existence that he would credit himself with strokes of absolute genius, when he decided to take Jesus to see the world, when he created the superstition of the Naga (Long story) and when he tempted Freddy Mercury into writing a song for him and Aziraphale (You probably know the one) just to name a few.

So hearing Chad say something like that and eyeing the now degraded moose Crowley’s boiling blood subsided and gave way to a truly wicked smile as something wonderfully mischievous clicked into Crowley’s brain.

“Well Barry, how’d you like to play a little game?”

Chad and his friend Eddie were sitting at the furthest point in the shop now cackling over the pictures on Eddie’s cell phone of the moose and all the things they’d done but their third friend, the voice of reason, was now peeking around the stacks as if on the look out for something

“Nick what’s up?” Eddie finally asked sick of the kid looking like he was going to see a ghost at any moment

“That Crowley guy never lets us off that easy, something is up.” Nick said readjusting his jacket a little as he turned to face his friends, Chad rolled his eyes and shook his head

“Dude that guys such a joke, he’s just Mr. Fell’s sugarbaby who thinks he can walk around like he owns the place because when Mr. Fell keels over he will so until then just enjoy the moment.” Chad said rolling his eyes at him he almost didn’t notice the small snapping sound that seemed to happen at the same time. Chad grabbed one of Mr. Fell’s books from the shelf and went to move it going around the corner he paused as he spotted the moose doll standing off to the side of the aisle staring straight ahead form between two comfy looking benches and he frowned

“One of you guys move that?” Chad asked as he looked to Eddie and Nick, Eddie shrugged and Nick went pale   
“I just looked over here the thing wasn’t here.” Nick said that was a frightening thought, Chad rolled his eyes though and scoffed

“Oh please, you probably missed it before.” Chad said but he saw Eddie and Nick both go a ghostly white as he faintly heard another snap from behind him he noted how their eyes were glued behind him and heard a distinct wobbling, Chad turned around only to see the moose doll wobble and slowly turn to face them as horror gripped him and he could only watch. Nick was clearly the smartest of the three of them because he immediately ducked down a row they’d already come from running for his life, eddie was second smartest as he slowly started to back away. As well all know people like Chad though, tend to not be very bright as he rolled his eyes and grabbed Eddie

“It’s just a stupid doll, it’s probably rigged to do stupid stuff like that all the time.” Chad said although when he had been messing with the doll he didn’t remember it having a battery back or anything at all but he must have just missed it

“Whatever man, lets just go find Nick.” Eddie said and started off Chad probably did the first smart thing he had done all day and followed after him, not acknowledging the faint little snap that once again happened. They turned down another stack and found Nick glued to his spot and there standing at the end of the stack was Barry, staring them down with those lifeless doll eyes that made Chad shudder

“What kind of messed up joke is this?!” Chad asked and there was another small snap and the lights above them began to flicker they went off for a second and when they turned back on, Barry was much closer, about half way between them and the end of the row now. The three teen boys turned on their heels and bolted finding another way and continuing to hear the soft snaps, the flickering lights beginning to follow after them and that same wobbling sound from before that was sure to haunt their nightmares until they ran into Mr. Fell that was when the lights went back to normal

“Mr. Fell!” Eddie gasped and he looked at them puzzled for a moment and smiled   
“Hello boys, Happy holidays!” he said as he looked around “Have you boys seen Barry? I thought he was by the door but he seems to have wandered off.”

Aziraphale didn’t understand why the boys looked as if they’d seen a ghost and quickly ran off screaming their heads off but that was when he spotted Barry at the end of the aisle and he turned to glance at Crowley who still sat casually on the sofa looking over his paper

“I don’t suppose you have anything to do with this?” Aziraphale asked raising a brow Crowley looked up nonchalantly and shrugged

“No idea what you’re talking about angel, not a clue.”


End file.
